Failure

A blind knot
Abyss opening
Hopes closing
Vertigo
Free fall
Gray tears
Dim the eyes
Inverted looks
Faded daydreams
Silence…

Drowned screams
Useless words
Incomprehensible phrases
…it cannot be
But it is…

Fear advances
Nothing different
from what has always been
Nothing important
Indifference
Silence…

All those golden plans
Lie on the floor
Shattered
Trampled
Devoured by doubt
Demolished by sadness
Calcified by the heat of stupidity

All my future mornings
slip through my fingers
vanishing mysteriously
in the darkness of anguish
waiting for the signal
that never comes…
Silence…

The phone call
The metallic voice
Total emptiness
The lie
Hypocrisy
Total emptiness
More silence…

Naive is the dreaming
Sad is the awakening
Difficult is the observing
Great is the understanding
… healing comes only from building

Portland Oregon, February 2001