It was the sunset of my life.
The wet wind brought my memories
Wrapped in transparent paper.
Far away drops of lemon and sugar
Fell softly like tears
Shed by pain and loneliness.
All my sad memories lined up,
Shoving each other
Like students at the start of the school year.

All were shouting for recognition
All important
All full of themselves
My heart took attendance
And one by one they entered
The great hall of Oblivion
Every memory in gala dress
Bowed, presented itself
With all its complaints
And with great ceremony
Sat in the huge armchair of reconciliation

All were heard, respected and recognized
All the sadness of the world
Wrapped my soul in a dark and sticky net
The crowded room opened to the universe
And a blue light spilled through the ceiling
Illuminating each memory
A distant and persistent music
Spread to every corner of the room
And suddenly fell silent.

All my fears
All my anxieties
All my sorrows
All my yearnings
All my resentments
All my bitterness
All my mistrust
All my betrayals
All my lies
Embraced themselves in an overwhelming silence

And together as a whole
Full of light and clarity
They gave me a lingering kiss
Before flying away into infinite space
And I was left speechless
In the very center
Of the Hall of Oblivion
In the evening of my life
All my saddest memories reconciled.

And there I was, naked in my soul
Newborn again
Just as I had arrived so long ago.
I screamed and cried like I did then
A cry that woke the stars
I cried tears that knew
No grief or pain

Tears that spilled like diamonds
To kiss the dusty floor.
And my eyes did not lift
To any almighty deity
But turned toward me myself
With infinite understanding and kindness
Loving me as the true god
Being born in the center of my heart

I hugged and kissed myself
Full of joy
To the triumphant of triumphant music
I bade my life goodbye
A life I felt to be perfect, beautiful and divine
But above all human…
In the evening of my life
The Blue Light took me with her
No thoughts
No frustration
No memories
No pain or suffering

Portland Oregon, Fall 1997