The day of my death

The day of my death
I want you all to come together
in a large circle
not at night
but in the day
Regardless of the designs of the weather
I want you to place
the memory of who I am
in the center of the circle
For two minutes
I want you to silently
cry, scream, laugh
or do whatever you want to do
or whatever sadness dictates
No more than two minutes
That’s all that’s allowed
in terms of grief.
And do not forget
that it is your sadness
and not mine.

I want you to hold hands
and smile from the depths
of your hearts
And that memory you have of me
I want you to raise it above the circle
above your heads
in a song of joy

I want you to know
without a doubt
that my journey to the infinite
began when I was born
My death only marks
my definitive departure
toward my encounter with the light
A re-union long-awaited,
caressed and intuited on multiple occasions
when the best of me
was manifested in the world

On the day of my death
I want fireflies to be counted
and hands tangled
in fantastic spider webs

I want those I love
to feel the warmth of the inner sun
and those who do not love me
to feel the moist kiss of forgetfulness

I want your tears to be tears of joy
for all that I was
for all that I was able to be
for everything I am beginning to be

Portland Oregon, September 1 2001